My House Without Children Is Missing Its Soul

New chapters

My oldest kiddo (19) is housesitting for a friend who had a last-minute family emergency.

I both love and hate when she is able to do things like that. I know she craves more independence, so I love it for her. I am so proud of her drive to succeed and her zest for life.

At the same time, I want to shrink her and make her be five and have pigtails again. I want to pull her into my lap and snuggle her while we watch silly cartoons, and she is content for me to be the center of her world. So I hate it for me.

Of course, I am glad she was able to help our friends when they needed it, and I am proud that she has the reputation of being a steady and responsible young adult. None of our friends hesitate to trust her with their houses and pets.

But who told her she could grow up, anyway?

Just kidding, just kidding.

. . . kinda.

Tonight, as she was packing her stuff for the week, her little sister (11) watched her with sad eyes. She misses her being here all the time. Though the oldest still lives at home, she has a very hectic schedule, and she works past the youngest’s bedtime a lot of the time, so some days they don’t even see each other.

I remember well how hard it was to watch my siblings walk out the door without me all the time, so my heart hurt for her as well as for me.

The light burst to life in those beautiful brown eyes when her big sister told her she could come along, though. She offered to take her to school in the morning if she wanted to spend the night with her in her new digs.

It was like the brightest rainbow, accompanied by the biggest pot of gold.

My youngest child turned into a completely different person.

There is nothing cooler than being allowed to stick your toe into the life of an older sibling when you are that age.

And there is nothing worse than my house right now.

Both of their rooms sit empty.

No noise.

No shuffling around when the youngest is supposed to be in bed.

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